Hummel from Alcatraz, Out!

It was all well and good being an expecting parent, but I daresay I am overdue to be an actual parent.

For all the hype, incessant posts, and incorrect predictions, the time has finally come. Time for the fleshy organic ballet that is child-birth; time to slip the surly bonds of the womb, and touch the face of earth.

Within a matter of a day or two, you need not be bothered by my off-beat and oft unwitty banter anymore—this site will be congested with something infinitely more valuable—pictures of the newborn Alyse.

I wish I had something more profound to say, but words—in this case—are patently unnecessary. I won't sully this and coming moments by a minute's more tom-bloggery.

Good day, kind sirs.